It's always so lonely here. And that's sad because it's such a beautiful place. The weekends span out before me now as hours of nothing, but the struggle not to feel this way. I don't know what it is, I was never like this before. I think that I lost a part of myself when I came here. Or left it behind. And I really need to find it again or find something to replace it before I'm lost entirely.
I've decided that I'm going to go to the beach today, to read and sketch. I always feel really happy there, at least. I'm hoping that I'll find something of comfort to keep close to my heart for those sad times.
Tell me, what books comfort you the most? I'd really like recommendations for something I can become absorbed in. I don't read as much as I'd like to, but I'm going to try to get back into the habit.
Well, those are not really books to be happy, but they'll make you feel less lonely.
ReplyDeleteJames Joyce: Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Man
Hermann Hesse: Demian
Virginia Woolf: The Voyage Out
* : The Waves
Ian McEwan: The Cement Garden
Emily Bronte: Wuthering Heights
Franz Kafka: The Trial
oh! i hope i am not sounding repetitive, but i do recommend Patrick suskind's "Perfume" if you haven't already checked him out? ; w ;
ReplyDeleteelaine, i hope you have a wonderful day at the beach today. maybe you can find some seashells and keep them in bottles in your room as souvenirs from fellow mermaid friends!
i know what you mean about finding something comforting to keep close to your heart during sad and lonely times... this might be irrelevant, but i find that carrying little luxury items like your favorite chap stick, or a tube of lotion that smells like sugary honey is quite comforting during those long hours during class...
i know what you mean about being afraid to lose a part of yourself~ even though you might feel that it is straying quite a distant from you now, i don't think that lovely, magical quality that you have about yourself is something that can ever be lost <3
I'm sorry you are feeling lost, lonely, it sounds like you lost a part of yourself. I have lost many parts of myself in previous years, I think it is called "growing up". Some parts are lost forever, but something new will come to replace them, I promise. Seashells and pebbles, fill your pockets with them until they bulge and you jangle with every step. Northern Lights by Philip Pullman; I don't know if you like fantasy books, but this is truly a story to lose yourself in, so elegantly written and imaginative. Chocolat by Joanne Harris; such a magical, delicious tale written in a beautifully rich descriptive style. ♥
ReplyDeleteOh Elaine, you have no idea how much I can relate to this post. I feel the same, exactly the same. Please write to me if you ever want to talk, we're in one and the same boat, dearie, and I understand. You must read Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrel and The Ghost's Child, biggest comforters of all. xxx
ReplyDeleteIsabelle - Thank you for the recommendations. I'm going to try to read them all, though it might take a while (I've already read Wuthering Heights, so that's one down)
ReplyDeleteSunny - Your advice was so perfect. I never realised how much of a comfort it could be to keep a familiar trinket in a pocket... how something so small can make you smile when you're feeling low. Thank you again for those kind words.
Thea - Maybe I am having to grow up a little, though it seems like such a sad thought... but still, I'm going to keep trying to find a balance and hold on to what I can of my old childish thoughts. It seems like such a short time since I met the side of myself that I liked so much. I'm not ready to say goodbye to it just yet. Northern Lights is such a wonderful book. I read it during the summer and loved it so much. I haven't read Chocolat, though so I'll definitely look for that.
Vera - This is such a confusing time, isn't it? But even in the short time since yesterday I'm beginning to see some hope that I might not be lost entirely. I hope that you can say you feel the same in that sence too. Those books sound just perfect, I'll have a look for them tomorrow. And, of course, the same here, if you ever needed someone to talk to...
xxx