Summertime

This is something I did in the summer. I was based around that happy content feeling that I get it the summer, when it's sunny and I can run around the back garden barefoot like a little girl, wearing pink dresses. The painting doesn't really represent that very well, it was just something that popped into my head at the time.
I was feeling really creative back then. I had entered my imaginary world completely and was painting every day. I remember when I went out with my friends or family it was like being forced to wake up to this dull world that was completely separate from the girls in pretty dresses that I was scribbling in my notebook. My best friend asked me one time what I'd been up to because I hadn't seen her in a while and I told her and those same questions came up again 'don't you get bored?', 'don't you get lonely?'. I was kind of annoyed at her for giving me that look that she reserved for when she thought I was being ridiculous. It's not like my life's so pathetic, I just like different things from most people and I never get lonely because I'm really close to my family, so I always have someone to talk to if I want.

I've gone a bit off topic... I was going to say how things have changed a lot in the last few months. I think it's to do with worrying about applying to university. Making important decisions isn't really my strong point and I was wondering what happened to me because I never used to be like this. I came up with this idea the other day that summer inspires me so much because I get really obsessed with everything around me, but in winter I tend to think a lot about the past. I miss things like how much fun I'd always have at Christmas when I was little and things like college art trips to places like London and New York.

I've tried recently to go back a little bit to how I used to be when I hardly worried about anything. So now I'm reading loads, like I used to. I still get little worries every now and again though, mostly about my art. I decided yesterday that I'm just going to stop expecting so much of myself. I'm going to do little doodles everyday and not worry if they're not as good as I've been thinking they should be. I'm just going to be myself art wise and not worry if my drawing isn't clever enough or pretty enough or original enough. I'm just going to draw what I like. And I'm going to read like crazy.


This is what I did yesterday in about 10 minutes and it's nothing special, but I like it anyway. That's all that matters.